24 Truths at 24

It’s my birthday, and I’ve been very reflective. I know that’s unsurprising. Enjoy my rambles, enjoy my truths.

24 Truths at 24

  1. I suck at blogging, because it takes me 2-3 hours for every post. I am embarrassingly lazy and would rather spend that time watching TV or playing games after work; but I am getting tired of that excuse.
  2. I still talk more than do for causes I care about, and this is something I’m very concerned and serious about changing.
  3. My dog is my best friend, and without him I wouldn’t be as emotionally stable. I’d choose him above a human stranger.
  4. I regret brushing off my Mexican culture in high school, and I take immense pride in it now because of that.
  5. I was supposed to read three books a month this year, but I’ve only read six so far. Working on it.
  6. I have been a very selfish lover in most of my relationships, and I’ve learned I’m going to need a very long time to understand the kind of partner I should/want to be.
  7. I’m really bad a long distance friendships, but my friends who love me and keep up with me in spite of that mean so damn much to me because of it.
  8. Speaking of friends, I am as close to my online friends as I am with those in person and I don’t talk about them enough. I’ve known some of them since I was in middle school through gaming and anime forums.
  9. I am confidently sharing publicly now more often that I do not want my own biological children. I’ve had the desire to adopt since fifth grade, for a reason.
  10. I’m beginning correct people when they refer to my future partner as strictly a “he.”
  11. I don’t regret studying what I did in college, but I realized too late it wasn’t what I wanted to do as a career. Making that decision at 18 is intense, especially as a first gen.
  12. My relationship with God and religion has been a roller coaster, but I have come to accept that my relationship with any sort of entity and my spiritual journey is my own to figure out.
  13. I do not believe in soul mates. I believe in two individuals working hard together, however, the friendship and love I have for Laura sometimes challenges me to believe otherwise.
  14. I mold myself very easily to the kind of person I believe people need me to be, but every year for as long as I can remember I work hard to stay truer to myself instead. Whoever that is.
  15. The moments I’ve felt less lonely in the world, and better understood, are when I read books and engage with youth.
  16. Youth. I have learned far more from them in the past four years than I could ever hope to teach them for the rest of my life; but I am going to try.
  17. I still have sleep paralysis, not as often as I used to; but I’ve discovered it’s due to suppressing and not vocalizing my general worry about life.
  18. My favorite complement to receive is that I am understanding, because I make it a personal mission to know the ins and outs of other humans I meet.
  19. I am very proud that I stick to my manifesto, con amor siempre, and never be consumed by hate for another person. It’s been extremely hard these past two years, but I do genuinely believe every single person is capable of compassion and love if shown it.
  20. I don’t see myself living permanently anywhere for more than 3-5 years tops from now on. Plausibly even in the same country when the time comes. To me, life is too short for that.
  21. My parents have taught me the strength in humbleness and gratefulness. They are my role models in the way I take on challenges and obstacles; I have never, ever heard them complain about a single thing in their life. A single damn thing.
  22. I believe my patience is my biggest strength. I have a lot of it, and it’s very helpful for the things I want to do for myself, my family, my friends and for youth in this short lifespan.
  23. I go to bed extremely early to daydream about all the characters and stories in my head that have yet to find themselves on a piece of paper. I want to change that this year.
  24. The truth is, I’m going to be doing a lot of things out of my comfort zone this year. I have a long way to go in becoming the kind of person I think I want to be, but not just for others this time, but for me. Until I can do that, can I be the daughter my parents sacrificed everything for, the friend my comrades can depend on, the older sister my siblings can look up to, and role I am discovering I want to be for students.

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