Book Review: Harry Potter and the Cursed Who Wait What

Remus, after reading.

Ok, so I finished reading the newest (supposed) canon sequel to Harry Potter last night. I was going to let it last a couple of days but I couldn’t, it was an easy read because of the play format and I wanted find out if Scorpius and Albus were going to admit their un denying love for each other or not. 

Well, unfortunately they didn’t. But, I am a firm supporter in those two being the most precious soulmates one could ever hope to be, because I believe soulmates don’t always have to fall under the future spouse category; best friends can too. The best (and really one of the only good things…) about the Cursed Child was Scorpius Malfoy though, he was such an interesting, funny and dorky little boy that made me smile everytime I read him. He was so appalled when his alternate parallel self, the Scorpion King, was athletic and hated homework, and that is adorable. I wished more than anything by the end of the book to hug him awkwardly the way Draco gets to. It’s a shame he wasn’t developed even more, because there was a lot of potential to really digg into his character in those alternate realities. It all went by, way, too, fast. I didn’t think the time turners (that JK Rowling has mentioned before getting rid of because of how annoying and seemingly easy plot turning can be with it) were even all that bad to use, alternate realities are cool, it’s a shame we spent so little time in them to really grasp the importance of why everything should be the way it occurred, why certain obstacles and challenges are necessary into becoming who you are meant to be.

So, what were my thoughts and issues with this “8th” book? That it wasn’t a prequel about the Marauder boys era!? Yeah, but we can all agree on that. Honestly, it was just kind of a mixture between “okay sure” and “lol what” throughout the entire book because I felt there were extreme cases of out of character behavior and it felt like a polished well edited fan fiction created by too many people trying to satisfy everyone with as many bits of fan service they could throw in. Listen, Severus Snape is my favorite character, but even I thought his entire “closure” was almost too good to be true, it felt too forced and it made me want to face palm more than cry with resolved satisfied tears.

I need to start with the out of character behavior. Like, Bellatrix and Voldemort had sex. This smutty fan fiction actually came true!? WHAT. Just kidding, we thankfully don’t get a play by play, just what felt like a not very well thought out antagonist who wishes she was half as badass I mean evil as her father. Again, I think there was a lot of potential with making Voldemort’s daughter (lol what) be pretty interesting, but she was just a big flat WTF for me. More WTF than the trolley witch, Ron giving children love potions, Harry kissing his aunt, an ooc alternate mean Hermione just because she didn’t marry Ron, Cedric (remember, a wonderful hufflepuff) letting getting humiliated turn him evil and changing the entire world, and lastly the most surprising one of all to me was Harry being the kind of father he apparently turned out to be.

Harry Potter took away his sons only friend, this from the boy who should understand more than anyone how important love and friendship is. Ron Weasley was treated worse than the movies for comedic relief…poor Ron. Rose Weasley, was a total brat, and I refuse to believe any of Hermione’s children could turn out as sour and rotten as she was. Draco and Harry supposedly saw each other as friends for the first time, but that already happened during the battle of hogwarts why are we using this for another plot point. Albus and Scorpius did not get enough “screen” time as they deserved either, hell, none of the kids did. Where was Hugo!? Can we get more cute James teasing Albus bromance action!? WHERE WAS TEDDY!?  If I was Albus I’d be like damn it dad I thought this was my story, I mean Scorpius’s, I mean Delphis!? Oh I don’t know just let us handle it and discover ourselves this time okay.

But like I was saying, the out of character behavior is what really made me sigh throughout the entire book more often than not. I am under the impression that’s mainly because J.K. Rowling didn’t write it, but there were a couple of scenes that felt like she did. That hill scene with Harry and Albus? That’s the character interaction and development I was missing! So, I’m going to settle with the idea that most of this story isn’t canon with the exceptions of Scorpius Malfoy’s relationship with Albus Potter and how badass and magnificent they finally portrayed Ginny Weasley to be. Ginny Weasley shone the brightest to me, especially when she reflected on her past and admitted being jealous of the grand trio, relating to her sons loneliness but still having such a commendable attitude and backbone.

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough I think. I’m grateful for the existence of Scorpius overall, but horrifically scarred at the idea that Voldemort was able to get in bed, take off clothes, and have sex. Thanks for that one, Jack Thorne, John Tiffany…and J.K. Rowling, for approving hahaha.

With all that said, I give Harry Potter and the Cursed Child a 6.5/10, really a 7 just for Scorpius…but I think if J.K. Rowling had more influence it could definitely have been an 8. I am though still excited that we got to read more adventures, as weird and unorthodox as it turned out to be…I’ll take anything and mostly everything to return to our beloved HP world. Cough like the past with with the Marauders cough, but for now, I guess being able to draw tons of Scorpius x Albus fan art will do just fine.

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