I actually told someone to hold the door for me and Remus today, then I froze, and I couldn’t go on. Goerge R.R. Martin, enough is enough. Where is our support group? Where can we meet to hold hands and let our tears shed in a dark lit room, longing to reverse time to take away the sorrow in our hearts from everything you throw at us in this God forsaken show we still keep watching anyway!? I have to write this blog to vent, it is the only way I know how to cope effectively. Spoilers ahead.
Seriously, by the end of this episode I sat there thinking “my watch is over.” I can’t keep doing this, I lost Jon Snow, but hey whaddya know I got him back! I actually thought he’d come back as a wolf, I settled on that because I love wolves and thought that would be really neat, so getting him back in his jaw-dropping face and bod again was more than I could have asked for. But, I didn’t feel my heart completely shattered into a hundred pieces and my soul ripped in two for Jon Snow, despite being one of my favorite characters, because I think I was in immediate denial and assumed it wasn’t the end, it couldn’t be, and sure enough it wasn’t.
There are other numerous deaths however that have made me feel like I need to sit remorsefully in a chair, looking outside as it rains and let my head drop between my crossed arms as I sob uncontrollably for at least thirty minutes; but even that wasn’t enough to heal the wounds left as I watched Hodor give his life for Bran.
If I had to list which characters would probably make me react the way Hodor’s death did, I would name Brienne first, then Tyrion, and honestly a couple of others before Hodor would even make the list. That tells me that this episode was written and executed so well, because I lost a character I didn’t even realized I was attached to. Am I the only who thinks that? Did we really have an enormous Hodor fan base? Don’t get me wrong, his loyalty and supporting Bran is just as commendable as Brienne and Jorrah, and Hodor always amused me with his one worded line…”Hodor.” I honestly didn’t even imagine we’d get an explanation, ignorant of me I know, but I think I was just preoccupied with everything else going on this season to worry about why Hodor can only say Hodor!!
We have Tyrion being awesome as hell running the place without Daenery’s, and the mother of dragons herself being badass herself coming out of flames again and setting unrealistic expectations of carrying myself the way she does, wishing I had a man who loved me as much as Jorrah does Danery’s, Sansa and Jon getting the most adorable sibling bonding ever by taking back the north from the most despicable character ever written in the history of time, Brienne just being perfect and finally rewarded by finding Sansa, cringing and crossing my fingers Arya finally advancing to boss mode, then Theon actually making me still feel sorry and adore him for his brotherly support to Yara, stupid priests or whatever they are being control freaks and ruining everything, and I still don’t really get what’s happening with those sand sisters…and then we get to Bran mentally time travelling and giving us peeks into the past.
There, we get to see young Hodor, talking like normal. I still don’t even bother to think throughout the season, wow wonder what happened, because I’m more worried about taking back the damn north once and for all and wondering what the hell else is going to happen with letting loose the dragons. I was not emotionally preparing myself for this.
Well, during this episode, old man in tree tells Bran it’s time to become him (what does that even mean) and of course Bran is stuck in there during the most critical time when his life, random woman and Hodor’s are in danger.
Well, Hodor can’t even get out of there because he’s scared and needs Bran to command him to move! Bran, Hodor needs you as much as you need him! Bran gets in Hodor, makes some moves and some progress begins. The next fifteen minutes are just the worst. The awesome and beautiful tree people are helping, dying tragically in the process, then we lose Bran’s wolf and his cries tore me to pieces, I thought that would be it. We lose the tree people, and his wolf, maybe the chic because I don’t even know her name and her brother died already too.
As soon as I heard the woman’s voice pierce through time while Bran was ‘in the past’, I knew what was going on and I wasn’t able to put pause and prepare myself the way I did for the red wedding. During the red wedding, I was able to pause, call my dad, scream, curse and cry before anything even started because I knew it wasn’t going to be good. This time, it was just me, without my Game of Thrones watching buddy because she’s on vacation living life, UNLIKE HODOR WILL EVER GET TO!!
Hodor’s entire destiny, his purpose, was to hold that door in order for Bran to escape and make it out alive.
As Hodor held that door, I didn’t even think it would be the end. I thought, okay once they are far enough he’ll just run right on over, but then hands started to go through the door…I think I stopped breathing. This was all simultaneously happening with the flashbacks, as if someone though “what would be the most tragic heart-wrenching way to tell Hodor’s story.” Because it wasn’t just Hodor’s destiny to hold the door, but to sacrifice himself in doing so. Our sweet, reliable, Hodor who has made us all probably feel safe and secure throughout Game of Thrones by protecting Bran, and in my opinion, because he was a safe character overall. I don’t even mean “safe” as in, he will never die, (because no one is ever damn safe in this show) but I never thought his death would affect me similarly the way it would for my favorite characters. But it did, and probably worse than any other death to come.
NO. George R.R. Martin that is not a challenge. I hope Hodor’s life, and death, will not be unrewarded. Bran better become that damn tree, or whatever he has to become, and help bring peace in this damn show, that’s what Hodor would have wanted. The North better be taken back by Jon and Sansa, because that is what Hodor would have wanted. And Daenery’s or Tyrion better sit on the Iron Throne because that’s what Hodor would have wanted!!!! Just kidding, about the last one, that’s what I want.
I love this show, despite it forcing me to pick myself back up after the loss of characters, battles, misfortunes, unfairness, because the character development, those same battles, and the triumphs although few, make it all worth it.
P.S. Where IS Ghost? Tired of wolves not getting as much love as the dragons. We haven’t seen Bran’s wolf in episodes, hell, SEASONS, then he appears and gets killed protecting him!? Really!? Don’t you dare pull that crap with Ghost, George. Or so help me.