This blog post is going to be primarily just a log for me to have, and for anyone else that wants a laugh and a peek into my adolescent mind.
First, this painting is by Jim Warren, and if you are unfamiliar with his work I doubt it…because if you grew up when I did, some of his art had to have shown up somewhere on the internet, or you’ve at least seen his Disney concepts. Well a lot of his artwork inspired me as a child when it came to writing and dreaming, not to mention were every wallpaper I ever had. If you don’t know, I’m writing a fiction novel, and my story is about dreams, so all of this tied up really nicely today when I spent about five hours writing it. During one of my breaks, I was browsing around the internet to discover all of my old websites, on matmice, freewebs, giaonline, neopets, and I could not believe the journals I kept about some of the dreams I had as a child. One of them had me spit out my drink from laughing so hard, but others had be taken back because I remember the way some of them made me feel.
What’s interesting, is ever since I was eleven, dreams have had such a significant importance to me in the way they do as I’m writing my book. I still love dreaming, I love going to bed to imagine my stories, and more often than not have the opportunity to lucid dream and I think there are too many people who take them for granted. I know we all have those crazy movie like dreams, awkward dreams we wish we never had, dreams too good to be true, the nightmares we wish would stop, and the dreams we wish we were reality. Well, I’m here to share the most embarrassing one of all, and possibly my first dream journal entry of all time. This is the one that made me spit my drink out and legitimately cringe. It was written October 28th, 2006, I was eleven years old. I didn’t fix any typos, as much as I wanted to, so don’t judge me. Actually, please do because I sure judged myself.
“I believe all dreams have /some/ type of meaning to it.
Sometimes, they help me relize things and prepare myself for the worst.
I’ve had dreams that give me hints of event’s that’ll take place later on that very day.
& some dreams, are just plain random and wierd, explaining the way I think & believe.
My first D R E A M entry, beings now;
I was on the run, with my best friends away from some sort of old, broken down institute. I ran alongside my best guy friend, he laughed, the thought of freedom made us all smile and happy. At that moment, he took a hold of me and pulled me to him and gave me a kiss, “Aiden!” I had said surprisingly, he only smiled, “hey, you never know what could happen to us,”. We continued to run.
I ran taking a hold of one my best friends, the 7 of us continued, I had a feeling of fear and excitement. Taking a leap behind another building, but my eyes locked onto a hidden camera placed on a fence. My grip had tightened it’s hold on my friend’s hand, she too looked to the camera, wich turned a bright red and moved to face us.
An alarm rang, and the lights from 2 helicopters from above, pointed out where we stood. A group of men dressed in dark grey outfits and guns, ran in our direction, taking a hold of all 7 of us. I had attempted to break free from the hold one man had on me, my hand was still holding onto my friends. She yelled and kicked and not once did she let go of mine. I had heard gunshots, peering over to see one my guy friends on the ground, and another yelling with a break of tears.
I had yelled too, trying harder to break away, but it was no use. It was then I felt the hold of my best friend’s arm loosen, and I had taken a glance to see her hand had dropped. She was being held by the men, who set her down on the ground. Tears had begun to drop, I yelled her name but I had known very well she was gone.
They took the rest of us to the lake, I screamed for help and the names of my friends, they too yelled and attempted to release themselves.
There, they took all of us into the water, and pushed our heads into them.
Torturing us by believing we were to drown.
I saw images of my friends crying and pleading for them to stop.
soon, they were drowned.
Everything had gone black, and it seemed to be, a few years later, I stood in a room in that same institute, my hair was longer, and I looked older then how I did before. I was, it seemed the only survivor of my 6 other friends that attempted to escape. Why? Who knew.
scenes changed, and I was standing in the hallway facing a new student entering the school, I guessed it was a school for, who knew what, but it wasn’t the most happiest friendly building.
I remember he took a look at me and smiled.
He was handsome, and cute, and apparantly someone I’d never met.
I saw myself return a small smile, and return to my room. The boy walked down the hall, and I saw myself sit on my bed, feeling a quick glance from the boy as he had walked past my room.
scenes changed; I figured it was now, a few days later.
There were 3 girls, they believed to be the best I supposed?
We were outside, cleaning the building walls. One eyed me, and giggled to herself and pointed. I showed no emotion, but continued to do my job and ignore.
They all laughed now, and I had heard someone say aloud “she hasn’t talked since all her friends were killed right in front of her or some s**t like that,”.
Now I saw myself freeze, and take a deep sigh.
I could see my eyes begin to water, but I continued to move my hand along the wall. “What’s wrong, still don’t have something to SAY?” one had said with a snicker.
At that moment,I saw myself turn and stare at the three who lacked to do their jobs.
“All lonesome now huhhh?” they all said in unison.
When I saw myself take a step backwards to run, I bumped into that handsome boy that now attended the school.
He too held a bucket of water, and looked at the three girls who quickly checked each other’s hair. I saw myself drop my head and turn to face the boy behind, he blinked unknowingly and stared back.
“You okay?” he had asked, I suppose my eyes were dying to shed tears.
I looked away, and nodded to more of myself then he.
The boy looked over to the others, whom stared and shrugged. “Idk, she’s wierd I guess,….but, anyway, I’m Alicia” she said with a grin.
The boy offered a smile to her greeting. I had begun to walk away, but I felt him walking behind.
“You heading to your room?” he asked, and I heard the other girls open their mouths with a dramatic gasp. I looked up and nodded shyly.
I saw myself slow down to his pace, and he had walked me to my room, where I closed the door as he walked away.
and I guess it was a few weeks later.
I was the one who didn’t talk at the school, and was always silent and in my room.
until HE had came, and had gotten meout of it.
I remember scenes where we walked down the dead fields.
he would talk of his reasons for coming to the school, they believed he had murdered someone, when he claimed he hadn’t.
As odd it was, it didn’t bother me one bit, and I remember thinking to myself that, even if he had murdered someone, I hadn’t care.
There were scenes where he’d bring me food, and slowly, I would say
“thank you” and sometimes “hello” when he’d smile and wave to me.
The 3 girls were always angered, and I remember a scene where they had taken me down to the basement to close down some door they were scared of closing.
It was a burning room, they planned to shut the doors and keep me inside, but if it wasn’t for that boy appearing, the dream would have ended there.
Then, I suppose I grew feelings forthis boy that talked to me.
Then I’d say more, like “yes,” “no, thank you” and more and more, I began to talk.
It was romantic, how he’d take me out to a place he’d like to go in between classes.
then, after time, I grew to talk in sentances, and actually begin a conversation.
in the moment, i grew to have another friend, a girl in math class.
she would also join us on our walks, and somewhat picnics we’d have.
I remember well a scene where we sat, re-painting the building’s walls.
I talked more, and laugh for once.
The boy had an idea, and made some sort of drawing on the wall.
when we were told to do something specifacally.
He had smiled to himself proudly, and the othe girl, who’s name was Jessica, also added her own designs to it.
then, the school head master appeared, she was angered, but secretly impressed, wich explained why she didn’t punish us.
I remember coming into my room, the boy, who’s name he’d still not said or claimed to have, appeared.
He took me out again, wich I didn’t mind, I’d take his hand and fallow after.
though this time, he took me out to, the river.
I saw myself freeze;
he moved forward and pulled off his shirt, stepping into the water with a chuckle.
“What’s wrong, to cold for you?” he had teased.
I gave no reply, instead I stood unsurely, scenes of the night of my friends death appeared.
He began to splash around, and then Jessica appeared, jumping in and splashing back.
Thisi was all against the rules, wich frightened me even more.
The boy stepped out of the water, and asked what was wrong,
I don’t know WHAT he said, because I wasn’t myself, instead I was the viewer.
But I had begun to take steps to the water’s edge.
Now, I was myself, and I continued in, untill the water reached at my waste.
The boy and Jessica watched, I smiled to myself, and gave a splash.
I hadn’t have much more fun in my life, (in the dream).
Then, there was a large boat.
Moving by, but as it moved past us, it caused waves to form.
I saw one heading my way, I had froze in fear, and soon enough, I was taken under the water.
I was now the viewer, and saw Jessica give a shout.
The boy was already in action, diving into the water in my direction.
Now, I saw myself in the water, attempting to scream, but I did not drown.
I was now in my own body, and I relized I could breathe.
But the feeling of being inside the water, feeling of being drowned, caused me to freak and scream.
Then, I looked down at my own feet, and noticed, a fin.
Yes, I supposed I was a mermaid?
I was pulledinto a net appearing from the boat, and the boy continued to move my way.
he took out a pocket knife, and broke me out,
He was running out of air, and passedout as he finished ripping open the net.
I took a hold of him and swam above.
Jessica was on the shore, peering over in each direction.
I appeared, holding onto the boy.
I swam over to the shore, handinghim to Jessica, whom pulledhim onto the ground.
I relized, that the reason for menot dying thatnight, or being drowned,
was because I was a mermaid, thus could not die in the water by attempt of taking out air.
Jessica gave the boy air, and he sathimself up, offering a smile,
I sat only a few inches away, my fins still in the shore, and the rest of my body athis side.
The thought of almost losing him caused my eyes to water, he only smiled and chuckled.
“glad your okay,” he had said.
I know viewed myself and he, and at thatmoment I let my head drop onto his chest.
Jessica smiled to herself at the scene.
“you know, you changed me Dafne,” he said, more to himself then to I.
Then, I asked.
“what’s your name,” he took his arms and wrapped them around me, and smiled.
“whatever you want it to be,” he had said.
“can it be Aiden…?”
“yeah,” he replied.”
So I guess, I don’t really know what happened here. I went to some kind of, institute for mentally disturbed children? Then my friends died, so I had to stay for longer, then I was bullied but fell in love or something and ended up being a mermaid. When I read that I discovered I was a mermaid I could not stop laughing. Face. Palming.